Marriage Maintenance and the Divorce Dilemmas

Marriage Maintenance and the Divorce Dilemmas

In my judgment, some long held views are simply…wrong views held! For example, I have read recently from at least two sources sent to me in the mail that most of those couples in our country who are “divorced and remarried” are quote, “living in an adulterous relationship.” The only exception is the innocent person who divorced a mate because the mate committed fornication. I do not know either of the writers who wrote the articles personally so this is not about the people who wrote…but it is about some things about this position that we need to note. In one of the articles the mention was made of the “innocent victim” in a divorce for fornication and how they are free to remarry. We all understand that an innocent “victim” who has been sinned against in this manner would deserve and is given the right to remarry in those cases where the marriage is “breached” in this way. But what about the “innocent victim” of a partner in a marriage that was breached by desertion or breached by an abusive mate? What about these “victims”? Do we actually believe that God does not care (in the sense of making provision) for these “innocent victims”? Do we really believe that Jesus allows the “innocent victims” in one case the right to get remarried because most people need to be married (1 Cor. 7:1-2), yet refuses that right to another “innocent” person simply because the guilty mate chose to “breach” the marriage covenant in a different way? Mention was also made about the “devastating effects of divorce” on the innocent children involved which is certainly something that needs to be emphasized over and over and over again. But what about the children who are born to those who are divorced and remarried whose parents are told by those who hold this view that they must divorce in order to be right with God? Those divorces will have much of the same “devastating effects” on their children as those in the examples given in the article. Divorce has much of the same “devastating effects” on the children of the “remarried” as they do on the children of the “once married.” Divorcing faithful mates should be reprimanded by us…not demanded by us! There are enough divorces in our country already without us Christians demanding more. I personally want NO PART of this teaching and practice of breaking up established families by teaching them to divorce faithful mates.

The truth is that the “only exception” view of the right of remarriage taught in these articles is simply not true…and never has been. There are plenty of cases where “innocent victims” have had mates to breach the covenant by “walking out on them.” Others have been “innocent victims” of domestic violence and abuse and have had to “walk out themselves” to protect themselves and their children from being wiped out! And we should not forget about the “innocent children” involved in the cases of “remarried couples” who, not only will suffer most of the same “devastating effects of divorce” if their parents heed this view, but are also now being told (directly or indirectly) that they were conceived and born out of wedlock! Adding to these “devastating effects” in their case is that their parents who were/are faithful to each other in a marriage relationship at the time when they were conceived were sinning (therefore, according to those who hold this view, they were born to parents who were fornicators and/or adulterers) and that their faithfully married parents are still sinning because they are living in an “adulterous relationship!” This is a very, very serious charge and should not be taken lightly. In my judgment, the Bible does not teach any such thing and never has. Those who teach married couples to “divorce” a faithful mate (whether first, second or fifth) are demanding the very thing that God “hates” (Mal. 2:16) which is in itself sinful. If those who hold this view want to “break up” established families let them “go for it,” but they shouldn’t be allowed to blame it on God or the Bible! The idea that marriage is “indissoluble” or that “only the innocent victim” in a case involving “fornication” can remarry is simply not taught anywhere in the Bible regardless of who says it is or how long it has been said or how many may say it! Just one example is enough to prove that the “only exception” view of divorce and remarriage cannot be true. A mate who has been deserted (abandoned) by an unbelieving marriage partner is CLEARLY given the right to remarry and therefore does not have to remain single unless they choose to be single.
Read it for yourself:

But if the UNBELIEVER DEPARTS, let him depart; a brother or a sister is NOT UNDER BONDAGE in such cases. But God has called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15, NKJV).

The question then becomes, “Can one “not under bondage” (or “loosed from a wife”) remarry without sinning? Read it for yourself in the same chapter just a few verses later:

Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you LOOSED FROM a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even IF YOU DO MARRY, you have NOT SINNED; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned…(1 Corinthians 7:27-28, NKJV).

I wrote my book for those involved in the MDR dilemma that want to (or have) come to Jesus for salvation. If you have been divorced and remarried (or know someone who is) this book may help: Just As I Am: Married, Divorced and Remarried.

Thank God for Jesus! (2 Cor. 9:15).
Wayne Dunaway

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